How Can I Forgive

standing on the edge

Perhaps forgiveness belongs on that list of ‘easier said than done’.

At some point in our lives, we have all been hurt by someone. When our feelings are hurt, we can become defensive and bitter and it can be difficult to experience love and compassion.

As we nurse our hurt something within us becomes closed down, and we lessen our ability to enjoy our life. But, when we finally forgive another we come to a place of acceptance, which allows us to move forward freely.

Here are some pointers to help you forgive and move forward:
  • Begin by recognizing the areas in your life where you need to cultivate forgiveness. What are you holding onto that you need to let go of?

  • Forgiveness begins at home. Start by forgiving yourself. Let go of any guilt that you may feel about the past.

  • Don’t wait for someone else to forgive you. It is okay to forgive yourself. You don't need anyone's permission or pardon.

  • Consistently remind yourself of the positive benefits that forgiveness will bring into your life.

  • Let go of the victim role. Reflect on the situation and try to see it from another's point of view.

  • Practice empathy and compassion. Remember that we are all human and that life is a learning process.

  • Meditate and bring your awareness into the present moment. Dwelling on the past can allow old wounds and negative emotions to resurface. Living in the present can offer us more inner peace and stillness.

  • Be gentle with yourself when your feelings of anger and resentment start to resurface. Forgiveness is an ongoing process. When the old feelings come up, remind yourself of why you let go of them and chose to forgive, and let them pass.
Life is a process of ebb and flow, a cycle of giving and receiving. When we forgive, we are by definition at the forefront and for the purpose of giving. By forgiving someone, we are tapping into our own compassion and understanding which in turn creates space for us to receive the same. By forgiving someone, we release an energetic debt, which allows both parties to truly move forward in life.

Forgiveness allows us to live in the present moment, free of burdens, open to love and joy. Remember that forgiveness is as much for ourself as it is for others. Sometimes we need to forgive ourselves in order to move on.

Most of us have some forgiving to do and there really is no better time to begin this process than right now.

"Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea until they have something to forgive,"
- C.S. Lewis

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