The Importance of Forgiveness

standing on the edge

The need for forgiveness

So many of the people who visit me in my role as therapist arrive carrying the burden of anger that has long since reached its ‘use by’ date. Few have found a way to free themselves from this heavy load that eats away at inner peace.

There is a way, a key that unlocks the chains, allowing a person to move on with their life in a much freer, lighter way. That key is forgiveness.

What is forgiveness?

Forgiveness is letting go of resentment, anger, or vengeance. When we forgive, we replace these negative feelings with positive feelings of good will, compassion and love. True forgiveness comes from the inside. It is a conscious deliberate decision to release resentment. It does not require justice, revenge, or an apology from the other side.

Why should I forgive?

Forgiveness is often referred to as the first step towards healing. It is a central teaching in most of the world's spiritual traditions. Christianity teaches that forgiveness is the key to live an eternal life, and forgiveness is a tenet of Judaism and Islam, too. While science cannot prove this, it has in fact proven that those who practice forgiveness live longer than those who hold grudges.

Psychologist Loren Toussain surveyed over 1200 people on their ability to forgive in relation to their overall health and life span. He discovered that the belief in a forgiving God and more importantly, the willingness to regularly forgive others correlated with lower mortality rates.

Forgiveness can improve one's physical, emotional, and spiritual health. Holding on to grudges can create stress in the mind and body causing an array of mental and physical health problems. Repressed and resolved emotions prevent us from experiencing a full emotional life, which in turn, can distance us from others as well as hold us back from reaching our full potential.

Mayo.com lists the following health benefits of forgiveness:

Healthier relationships
Greater spiritual and psychological well-being
Less anxiety, stress and hostility
Lower blood pressure
Fewer symptoms of depression
Lower risk of alcohol and substance abuse

All pretty good reasons to forgive. The simple fact is that practicing forgiveness will maximize your personal and spiritual growth as well as improve your health.

In my next post I’ll be looking at ways to free ourselves from anger and the inner turmoil it produces; ways in which we can let go of the past through forgiveness. Be sure to check back.

'He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass'
- George Herbert



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